The Opening Ceremony that verged on perfection.
The most sincere Ceremony the English could have organized.
An effete noblewoman’s last reception.
The Opening Ceremony of the Olympics in London proved once again that life has more imagination than the most marvelous human mind. Following Athens and Beijing, it is now time for London to host the Olympic Games. Following the nations that create culture, it is now time for the Olympic Games to be hosted by nations that exhibit culture; by followers of the atheist Darwinian evolution theory who have never gone hungry thanks to their devout people’s toils; by the people who became tycoons by cutting into pieces, transferring and displaying the remains of cultures from all over the world. Following the leading nations in creating culture, it is now time for the nations that trade culture; smuggle culture, to be exact.
The English are this kind of culture smugglers. Now that they host the Olympic Games, they have been particularly revealing, almost confessional we could say. In order to help us understand everything that relates to them, they gave us a brief history lesson. They opened the Ceremony showcasing us how they have moved from pastoral life to the industrial era; how their greed has actually turned a beautiful landscape into a desolate land; how their decisions turned industrial evolution into a dirty business that besets the entire planet even today.
This is what the Ceremony is about. This is the English’s contribution to human evolution. They were the first who turned industrial evolution into a social plague and an environmental disease. They were the first who tried to expropriate industrial evolution following the logic that it is in their interest to learn as much as possible that will help them manufacture as much as possible before others discover the art of manufacture as well. They were the first who did not share anything with anybody with the purpose of maintaining the lead they thought was in their interest. What we witnessed in the Olympic Stadium was Britain’s confession of its universal contribution on humanity.
We witnessed the people who have turned human technological advancement into a means to degrade humanity; the people who have sealed up human evolution so that they could turn it into a weapon to use in a world of unarmed opponents; the cheapskates who have reached the top of the human chain using unlawful means. These people have been favored by cultural exchanges and donations throughout the human history and yet they did not offer anything the one time they had something to offer. The irony is that they have not offered themselves anything, either. They could have exploited industrial evolution to improve their people’s lives, but instead they brought their own downfall. They did not provide jobs to parents and schools to children, but instead they put them all to work in the same filthy and life-risking factories.
To avoid sharing anything — and to anyone — they kept everything to themselves, but in the end they could not keep anything more and they collapsed under the burden. To avoid sharing anything with anyone, they destroyed themselves. They were destroyed by the same laws they had invented to maintain their lead. It is a tragic irony. Today, Britain is de-industrialized as a result of the laws the English once invented for the exact opposite reason, namely to encage industry inside Britain. In order to maintain their industrial lead in perpetuity and transform clever inventors into masters of caginess and slaves to the know-how, they invented the patent justice. Every single invention that was acknowledged and received a patent title would be protected from being copied for 41 years. This may have been the top-level English patent in the history of mankind, namely the encaging of the know-how and scientists into a powerful legal cage.
This English conception was the only actual important English intervention that has determined human course. It was an intervention that made humans self-destructive; an intervention that turned human progress into a negative, hence unwelcome, evolution; an intervention that resulted in an inevitable industrial evolution because it had made humanity follow a downward course. Progress was like the Old Maid card which nobody can say for certain whether or not it is in his interest to look for and have. The English nation turned industrial evolution into dirty business that has defiled everything.
The first steps of the industrial evolution were made in Britain ― but because of the English laws they moved on, outside Britain for ever ― and after an around-the-world journey they ended somewhere in China. Because of Britain, the industrial evolution was a cause of exuberant wealth for the industrialists and a cause of ruthless exploitation of the workers. Britain made human progress a rich men’s possession which they could manipulate in default of the nations.
This private, hence, given the facts, greedy and disorderly evolution has degraded natural environment and has created unprecedented in the history of mankind social problems. Everybody was in haste to make a pile exploiting their patent for as long as it could bring them profits in ignorance of their customers and in doing so they destroyed everything. The destruction came as a result of the uncontrollable over-exploitation of natural resources and manpower. It was this way that the industrialists as individuals destroyed society, environment and family institution. Similar practices were followed by the industrious nations as they destroyed their national surroundings in order to nip competition in the bud.
This is the only way we can explain this unethical and inhumane English industrial evolution, which having no competitors at that time became a social and environmental plague. Why did this happen? It was because the English realized sooner than everybody else that industry would give them leverage in their imperialistic plans. They decided to make haste so that they could appropriately outdistance their victims or their competitors. How were they going to do so? “By having the people involved in the industrial evolution compete with each other”, one might say. Were there any competitors, though, who would set up a competition race?
In default of real competitors, they would have to find another way to make haste, even if they were the only ones racing, barely making it in fact. To do so, they attempted to rival themselves. They chased their tails like dogs. That was the beginning of their end because in their effort to acquire maximum profit they risked bringing absolute loss. They guaranteed maximum loss for society in their attempt to make uncertain profit. That was their plan, namely to plan a global exclusivity. A few English had this bright idea that nobody — except for themselves and a few others who were considered to be superior people — should have the right to manufacture even the least thing.
They were going to be the prime ones of the industrial era; they were going to be the ones to manufacture the tools the planet needed to evolve. No matter the person, no matter the place, he would have to be dependent on their production; therefore he would have to be dependent on their willingness to cooperate. All the strategic — and other — products of the new era back then would have to be manufactured exclusively by them and in their factories in Britain. Only English Lords could have their own industries and only English scientists could become inventors. That is the period when the anti-economic and almost unreasonable comings and goings of the commercial ships began. The latter did not contribute to factories being planted all over the world but rather they transferred products from Britain to distribute all over the world. They eviscerated a small place to meet the needs of an entire planet.
That was the meaning of the industrial revolution in the English minds. The lot of the human know-how would be concentrated in Britain and after it had been sealed, it would pass into the hands of a English and remain there to eternity. This is the reason why — acting as genuine English — they have surged into the world. There weren’t only art thieves like Elgin, there were also technology thieves. It was easier for them to copy, steal or imitate other people’s achievements. They would take this loot to Britain and make it their own property through laws. This was their way to add more knowledge to the existing knowledge and it was not long before industrial evolution came. Britain had become an arena where people slaughtered each other aiming to make a pile. It was an inhumane swamp that consumed human souls; an immense Dachau-like place where people were tortured because people with the mentality of Josef Mengele wanted to become ridiculously rich within a few days. These people were the inventors of the new era of that time.
The world was supposed to be evolving while in essence it was going backwards because of Britain’s greed. Industrial evolution needed no help to be spread and it had essentially become uncontrollable. Evolution had taken a downhill course with great momentum but the direction was backwards since the conditions were getting more and more aggravating for all the workers in order to accommodate competition. This backward course was too long, come to think that due to this evolution life expectancy dropped instead of rise, as somebody would assume; too long, come to think that the feudalism villeins’ children led a better life than the workers’ children during the English industrial era. At least the villeins’ children were healthy and could play insouciantly in rivers and lakes during the feudalism era and they were not turned into juvenile workers of the industrial era.
That was the result of the English patent. Having innumerous natural and financial resources as well as lacking feelings of social sensitivity and solidarity, the English colonialists became unrivalled. There was never a time when they had any kind of demur about over-exploiting anything. They did not care about the death that always follows over-exploitation of all kinds and forms. They did not care about the death of the environment because they lived in gorgeous mansions which were surrounded by vast and gorgeous gardens. They did not care about the workers’ death because neither they nor their children were numbered among them.
The English generations that followed entered a hell state as a result of their decisions. They were little children who came of age in ugly environments as they were assigned the most difficult and narrow posts. They were assigned to work at the machineries which — for reasons of thrift — were made so small that the adults could not fit to work there. They were assigned in the pit of mines which — for reasons of thrift — were made narrow and adults could not fit in there. They were forced to dig day in and day out and die at their fourteen, well stricken in years; forced to live in places where they only breathed dust and died spitting mud.
This self-destructive choice of life has shaped the peculiarities of the modern English character. Why is that the case? It is because the English had no choice but to become hypocrites. They were at the top of the world and their actions were visible by everyone. Everyone could watch them and everyone wanted to learn from them the results of the so-called evolution. Everyone wanted to learn from them how useful evolution had been to social aggregates. This is where the big problem lay, though. The English, being working people, were actually miserable that progress had come. Their advancement took place in an inhumane way. Few people became tycoons and many people dropped like flies. This is the reason they had no choice but to turn a blind eye to what was happening at their expense.
They had to defend their choice and that choice has been following them ever since. Why is that? It is because the new industrial petty and stingy Briticism contradicted the donations made which provided them with the means to rule the world. They had dominated the world as Christians — hence as believers of a God who preached: “You received without payment; give without payment” — but they had to act the opposite way, being ardent English. They were ardent Philhellenes — which means that they were admirers of the most generous civilisation in the world — but they were also English and they had to act the opposite way, namely not to benefit anyone, not even their own children.
This is what the blackness and the thick smoke that covered the Olympic Stadium vividly depicted. This is what the black hell that made the beautiful lush green English countryside disappear depicted. The industrial evolution had destroyed Britain itself and the English along with it; the advanced English workers who lived in conditions even worse than the under-developed nations of their colonies. They lived in run-down environments where even the poorest of the nations did not live. They inhabited houses that were meaner than those of the poorest nations. They ate food of the worst quality that even the poorest of the nations did not eat. They had smaller life expectancy rate than the poorest of nations. The blackness of the industrial era was perfectly depicted inside the Olympic Stadium.
Nonetheless, if this description relates to the environment they used to live in back then, it is only natural that the next phase of the Ceremony includes the director trying to describe the psychological implications of these choices on the nation’s mental outlook. The conflicting behaviors that we have described have shaped the character of the English who have one peculiarity, namely their schizophrenic behavior which drives them to a constant and hugely successful self-sarcasm.
What is the point of the self-sarcasm? It is their way to show awareness of this duality; their absolute understanding of the problem they experience; their collective reaction to a situation where the same thing that they worship because they are English is fundamentally the opposite of what they have no other choice but do, again because they are English.
People are mistaken if they consider Mr. Bean’s presence unfortunate. Mr. Bean fully deserved the big part he was given in this confessional-like show. Mr. Bean is not just a random figure of English history. He is not some successful theatrical or television figure. He is not a successful role of an individual named Atkinson. Atkinson was just a competent man who was lucky enough to have a face that suited perfectly to the Mr. Bean character, a caricature that epitomized all attributes of the average English individual. This kind of a English person personified by Atkinson was the Olympic Games’ host and he had to introduce himself. Mr. Bean — and this explains his huge success — is the caricature of the English individual; the caricature of the average English.
He is the type of person who has been squashed by kings for centuries but considers to have given Democracy to the world; the type of person who gets insulted by nobles on a daily basis but takes off them whenever he finds himself drunk in a foreign environment; the type of person who acts the worst, the lowest, the loathest and still thinks nobody realizes it; the coward type of person who swears and behaves in a provoking manner when he is in a safe environment; the incompetent type of person who judges everybody as if he were an infallible God who gets exposed when he acts, and all that for the simple reason that he is useless; the cheapskate type of person who wants the world to be a fair place; the vindictive type of person who seeks to ruin all festivities he cannot take part in; the ill-intentioned type of person who will attempt to spit on anything he cannot eat; the malicious type of person who will attempt to spread nasty rumors and insinuations about the person he cannot compete against; the vulgar type of person who will call a girl a hustler just because he cannot have it as his girlfriend.
Mr. Bean is all these things and this is the reason he has become a symbol in Britain. He represents the English secret self, the disgraceful Mr. Hyde part of the personality that everyone keeps hidden whereas at the same time he is trained to pose as a superior Dr. Jekyll type of person for the interest of the nation. Mr. Bean represents something which the English act conspiratorially on because they believe that nobody else — but they — can grasp its meaning. They believe that due to resemblance they can recognize on Mr. Bean attributes that nobody else is able to recognize. He is the figure that epitomizes the lowest attributes of all English people throughout their history.
Elgin, for one, was this type of a English, who considered himself civilized and did all those things even the loathest barbarian had not dared do for thousands of years now. The anonymous English person is also this type of a figure, who considers modern Greece to be an inferior country and debases himself daily behaving like an animal when he visits Faliraki, Hersonissos and other famous Greek island regions. He pulls down his pants, he throws up, shits and pisses in the road overtly because that is his way to shock those who see him but according to him are too inferior to perceive his actions. Having pied on his pants and with vomit all over his clothes — and minutes before he passes out — he will give these inferior people the finger and swear at those bustards who cannot conceive his grandeur. “Fuck you bustards …..ooops…sorry.” He will attempt to treat others the way others treat him when he is in Britain, where, after he has been beaten up and his clothes are torn and covered in blood, he will continue boozing. Such people are the imaginary Lords whose English island is too small for their grandeur and the rest of the world cannot stand more of their grandeur. The English are the people who realized the phrase “necessary evil”, in the tourism sector.
This type of English person is this year’s host of the Olympic Games. He himself has revealed to us — through Mr. Bean’s presence — how he perceives these Games in relation to their genuine founding parents; how he feels as the leading figure towards the leading figures of the Olympic Games. This type of a English is depicted by Mr. Bean in his vision. He is the English person who understood the ancient-Greek grandeur and the ideal of Olympism and daydreamed that not only he had been part of it, but also that he had defeated it. Under the sounds of Greek music — and during the greatest sports event of Greek origins — the English Mr. Bean daydreamed that not only he had been a participant and a partner of the global vision but also that he had been the great winner in the race between humans.
This is exactly what Mr. Bean daydreamed about. The image of the athletes from the “Chariots of Fire” was the cinematic portrayal of the Greek ideal; of the Olympic ideal which calls for emulation among different people from different cultures who compete with one another for glory. Just like Mr. Bean is a mock portrayal of the English person as well as the industrial and post-industrial era, the athletes in this movie are the portrayal of an entire world; a world that has specific characteristics, mental outlook and view of life; a world that has borrowed the Greek technique in order to gather all civilizations and all nations into a common and noble arena in the best possible way.
These were the people who were running at the beach that Mr. Bean was daydreaming about; they were the cultures that believed in the Greek ideal of emulation; they were the people who believe in the perfect combination of a healthy mind in a perfectly healthy and hardened body; they are the personification of industriousness with the aim to achieve higher goals, lacking interest for material gains of any kind. It is an inexplicable ― for artful people and profiteers ― industriousness which produces athleticism. Why is it inexplicable? It is because working a thousand times harder than a common worker just to be rewarded with applause is something that calls for certain kind of culture and attitude of mind and this is a Greek attribute that passes to the rest of the world through Olympism. It is the kind of world that accepts a humble olive wreath as a reward for its enormous hard work.
This is the world of dreamers and industrious people where the loafer and wily Mr. Bean tried to get. We are talking about a person who played a single note on the keyboard using an umbrella as the orchestra played out a rendition from “the Chariots of Fire”. It is this world of the Greek ideal that the humble English individual has attempted to sneak in through the back door. It is this world of altruism that the self-seeker English individual has attempted to intrude. The miserly Mr. Bean has attempted to infiltrate the world of the people who fight for ideals; the benighted Mr. Bean has attempted to infiltrate the world of the civilized and educated people. We are talking about the familiar Mr. Bean who was showing people what he had pulled out of his nose while the Greeks were showing them the stars; the familiar Mr. Bean who was snatching people’s snacks from public benches while the rest of the world had his attention turned to the stars.
Mr. Bean’s behavior as an individual has been adopted by Britain as a nation. Britain wished to be part of the great emulation arena among cultures. Following the monumental Athens and the exquisite Beijing, London attempted to be part of this global race among civilizations; a good race where the Hindus, the Japanese, the Mayas, the Incas, the USA, the Indians, the Australian Aborigines and so many other self-luminous civilizations could have taken part in. All these civilizations have built cultures throughout the centuries, so they have struggled hard for their success. But they did not take part in the Games. The wrong choice continues to be made as the hosting of the Olympic Games is assigned to national States.
After the hosting of the Games by the two awe-inspiring descendants of culture, the Games were not assigned to another nation that carries civilization. The hosting of the Games was not assigned to Mexico where the Games could be held under the symbols of the Maya; it was not assigned to Latin America where people could learn about the Incas; it was not assigned to Japan where people could learn about the great Shinto culture. After Greece and China, came Britain. After the witnessing of these great and beautiful civilizations, Britain attempted to describe its own achievements. Sadly for it, though, it had entered an unequal and unfair race. Why is that? For the simple reason that Britain joined the club of the civilizations the same way that Mr. Bean joined the Champions. It joined the prodigies of civilizations without being one itself. It joined the civilizations with borrowed elements from the ancient Greeks and the Christians.
Britain itself has inevitably taken up the role of the frog that gets in the middle of two bulls fighting. Why did this happen? It happened because Britain has never stopped being one of the Christian nations, one of the participants in the same Christian civilization. Especially Britain has never stopped having the attributes of Mr. Bean’s character, namely an artful man and a profiteer who dreamt of excellence but never wanted to work hard for it; an artless person who has never learned how to sculpture because it had always been easier for him to just remove statues from Greek monuments; a benighted person who has never learned to puzzle over his social problems because he had always found clever answers in Greek Literature. Mr. Bean is a person who dreamed of victories because he was very well aware of the fact that he could never taste any victory in real life. He was aware of the fact that he could not compete against his famous rivals.
This is what the famous for its self-sarcasm Britain has showed us through Mr. Bean’s cameo. At least they were completely honest at the Opening Ceremony. They tried to be humorous by imagining themselves among the Greeks or the Chinese and the other famous competitors. At least they were honest. They revealed how they imagine themselves to stand next to these competitors. Everything happens in exactly the same way, only on a different level. Just like Mr. Bean could not compete fair and square with the other athletes, not even in his daydream, the same way Britain could not even imagine that it would enter this comparison and get slaughtered as it was directly compared to the previous hosts.
Everything we have seen and heard these days denote this agony. Mr. Bean had to get on a car to overtake the other athletes, even if it was only in his daydream, and Britain acts the same way in its effort to rise to the level of the athletes who carry culture through artificial means. Although it is just a Christian nation, it has attempted to appropriate and present the pan-Christian effort that led to the industrial era as its own achievement. Industrial era was a Christian achievement that simply happened to take place in Britain; it was not a English achievement. Industrial evolution was a result of the way Christianity functioned, not a result of English choices. The only thing that was a English choice was the fact that the industrial evolution would destroy the environment and make people inhuman.
This is the reason why we say that Britain impersonated Mr. Bean’s character during this hosting endeavor. It rode on the vehicle of Christianity so that it will have the opportunity to follow the other colossuses of civilization. It had no other choice. Britain has never produced anything special on its own under the leadership of the English people. It has never produced a special product on its own which to display next to the others’. This is what its history reveals to us. Throughout its history, Britain has never created culture because the English did not have time after working so hard. There were so many victims before them to plunder that they just did not have the time.
This is the reason why Britain has always dreamed in the Greek way and lived in the medieval way. The English would sell Hellenism so that they can mesmerize people and steal from them. They pretended to be Greeks pointing high but all that they were were a Mr. Bean type of people who pursued profit. They promoted Democracy but all that they were, were “the Queen’s subjects.” As genuine Mr. Bean characters — and to avoid problems with the proprietors — they made sure to slander them. This is what they did at the Olympic Games as well. They tripped the Greeks up so that they can relate to them and benefit from their greatness. They wanted to belittle the Greeks so that they can use the method of rivalry and appear to be at least of the same greatness as they, even in an artificial manner. They provoke Greeks into actions so that they can move on the same level with them. They would not dare do this, though, to the Chinese or someone else. They dared do it to the small-sized Greece.
All vulgarities, nasty rumors and historically unsubstantiated so-called certainties about Hellenism originated from Britain. According to these rumors, all ancient Greeks were faggots and the modern Greeks are part Turkish of no importance. It is the English who insist on the belief that producing culture means mutilating the Acropolis which you display in your museum in an atmosphere of luxury. In a English T.V show some so-called experts have claimed that Alexander the Great was Macedonian, not Greek. A English politician has uttered the unspeakable, namely that Greece should be called “Former Ottoman Republic of Greece.” The current Prime Minister has taken advantage of the economic crisis Greece is going through these days as a means to speak ill of the Greeks and deprive them of admittance to their supposedly fabulously rich island. The people who have tarnished the Greek civilization are the same people who have benefited the most from it.
This kind of English trash-talk is the equation of the Greek ideal with the English gay style. The day of the Olympic Games’ Opening Ceremony the English have decided to trip the Greeks up, as they showed a kind of documentary where they depicted ancient Greeks to be vile and faggots. The people who do not have mixer taps in their bathrooms and wash in sinks remarked on the hygiene conditions during the flagship event of an ancient people; they, who, when they get drunk and forget the order of events, brush their teeth using water they have just used to wash their ash. They have chosen to insult the Greeks and call them vile and faggots the same day they should have been grateful to the Greek civilization which, although in its absolute wane, offered them probably their last chance to sell themselves to the world.
Later on, Mr. Bean snapped out of his daydream so that the English can continue with the story-like Ceremony. The dreamer has snapped out of his daydream and returned to modern era; in today’s time when Britain is left with nothing; in the post-industrial era, when Britain experiences its absolute wane; in the era that Thatcher led it and as a result the English cannot catch a break now; in the era when they have lost everything and they have been defeated in every field; in the era when English politicians like David Cameron and Boris Johnson use inarticulate cries and clever lines in their effort to remind us that Britain is still alive — remind us that Britain’s presence in the world is still strong, because nobody understands its importance, anymore. Nobody understands where this unrealistic sense of grandeur its people have derives from—; in the era when Britain has no production and tries to earn its living by promoting lemons of pop. Modern English industry has only down-and-out ballads performers who are drug addicts to show as modern colossus of intellectual rights; It is a English industry which — just as in its first version —relies on absolute destruction in order to produce anything. They are relentless to the end. They once again risk certain social destruction for the gaining of an uncertain profit.
Just as in the actual industrial era society and natural environment were destroyed so that the English can have behemoths of creativity to show off, the same goes on today. Music industry and its production needs are one of the main causes that drugs have infiltrated English society.
In order to become behemoths of music, young people consume huge amounts of drugs and transform English society into a humanistic Chernobyl. Nobody stands out against this extensive and untold destruction because there is nothing of good value left for them to stand up for. The English notion of family is utterly broken and surrendered to addictions of all kinds, whether it is alcohol, drugs or internet addiction. This is what the director of the Opening Ceremony showed us. He did remember to show us that the Mini Coopers which are made in London are still seen on the roads but he conveniently forgot to mention that they are now German. English roads are empty due to poverty and the cheap internet brings all the clutter of society inside English homes. Domestic situation is out of control and the children are misplaced but only to the point that the parents are legally protected. They neither neglect their children to the extent that charges for criminal liability can be brought, nor do they care for them to the extent that they can feel protected within the family’s bosom.
This type of family is not just the English family but the family of the New Order which this year’s Olympiad wanted to promote. It wanted to promote the type of family where the motherly figure is obsolete and has been substituted by “parent A”; the type of family where the fatherly figure is obsolete and has been substituted by “parent B”. Who is going to take on this role remains to be seen. It might be a human being, it might be a horse, and it might even be Elton John. It all depends on the inspiration of some “third parties” who, having indulged in ebriety, will seek for what is politically correct in the new millennium. The fate of these third parties’ children is sealed. What the English director has offered us in the Opening Ceremony is a live image of what we read in the statistics. The English themselves showed it to us in their Ceremony, which means that they are certain to know that this is something that it actually happens. A child that spends his childhood in front of a computer playing internet games will definitely not have a bright future. Seven-year-olds and eight-year-olds do drugs in Britain because of societal malfunction. According to an article of the Daily Mail, children in Great Britain do ecstasy and smoke cannabis at the age of seven and nine. At this age children go to first grade. They are children who under normal circumstances should not be left unsupervised even for a second. How sick can a society be to let people approach children and convince them to buy drugs? To what extent do the parents of these children live in their own little world that they provide them with opportunities to buy stuff like that? Britain is the only place in the world where things like this come about. It is a world record. The English society brings up its children with the exclusive help of Lady Luck. If they survive, they will consider themselves perfectly happy, the director’s English point of view is. If they survive the makeshift drugs or alcohol use and benzene sniffing in their adolescence, they will be free to attend adult parties. If they survive searching, sniffing and drinking from every bottle they find in the toilets and laundries of their homes, they will be free to become the future party animals. They will be able to exploit modern gadgets so that they can communicate with each other and never miss a party; so that they can return home having pissed, shit or puked all over their clothes. These children have been trained to sleep on benches, inside dustbins or manholes and survive without a scratch. This is not just allegations of ours, it is what the statistics show. The English National Healthcare System spends 3.5 billion pounds annually because the number of people admitted in hospitals with conditions resulting from alcohol overconsumption is continually growing.
This nightmarish situation results in a societal malfunction. These children do not stand a chance. They are living dead, they simply be. I do not know where to begin with the analysis of this phenomenon. Teenage mothers are a societal problem in Britain. What is the story with these children — because that is what they are, children —? How did they end up like this? How did their families let it come down to this? These are completely messed-up situations. We are dealing with an alternative professional orientation. It has become similar to becoming a public servant in Greece. English women breed like rabbits so that they can be sure to receive social benefits and the houses that are provided for in cases like these. English children become middle-aged although they are only in their twenties; they are illiterate and dependent on all kinds of substances. Before they even reach twenty they have experienced everything to the extreme; anything that is humanly possible. They have got beaten up so hard that they can see the white light calling for them. They have drunk until their bodies cannot take any more. They have sniffed drugs until their bodies have reached their limits. They have been publicly humiliated to the extent that no human dignity can take. All these are horrible situations. It is a social wane. It is not just the plebe of the society that has fallen into this situation. The drunken teenagers are not only the poor children who live in the de-industrialized and former industrialized cities. These teenagers are also the children of Blair or the late Diana. The current Prime Minister has already given up on his child and in the future this child is expected to give up on himself as well.
Because humans can never be too miserable, all these poor fellows do not react against the people who led them to squalor, instead they go out in the rain to celebrate their queen’s anniversaries. The same people who are deprived of food because of the nobles — who plunder everything —pose as kings during Christmas. They make paper crowns and sit foodless in their broken chairs of their empty and cold living rooms. All these things happen to Britain, the nation that cannot react against its English kings of German origin; the nation that falls for anything the English government serves it; the nation which is so desperate that has no other choice but to invent fairy tales with wizards and so hopeless that needs to actually believe in these fairy tales.
Britain needs the fairy tales or it will lose its mind. If a nation has reached bottom, much more so during the years of rise and prime, who knows what is in store for it in the years of fall and stagnation. Given that the English have suffered during the years of their universal dominion, who knows what is in store for them in the years of fall.
It is because of this need of theirs that they line up at bookstores or cinemas to get a taste of Harry Potter. Britain needs to believe that its problems will be magically solved by Mary Poppins. Britain needs to believe that its queen collaborates with James Bond to solve the problems of the nation. Britain needs all the magic it can get because it is desperate. It is of paramount need for Britain to continue its historic course and not collapse under the burden of its domestic problems.
It is not a coincidence that the notion of wizards exists in Britain. Wizards are fundamental figures in the English society; they are essential to its existence; they give hope and courage to the distressed members of society; they can use their magic wands to transform frogs into princes, the insignificant and obscure people to significant and famous figures; they can take a nobody and make him successful over a night; they can even make somebody a Sir. It is the Sirs that keep Britain going. This is why they could not have been left out of the Opening Ceremony, and they weren’t.
Britain had to honor all of them because it is they who preserve English society and protect it from collapsing. It is they who give people hope. They are like the modern Robin Hood of post-industrial era, giving people hope. It is because of this hope that the average English not only does not react but also chuckles at all kinds of Mr. Bean characters he encounters in the streets every day.
He secretly hopes that all the others will remain a Mr. Bean character while he himself will get ahead. He keeps his hopes up and lives in his misery; he hopes that anybody can become a fabulously rich colossus just like the actor Rowan Atkinson, the writer J.K. Rowling, the footballer David Beckham and the musician Paul McCartney. All of them are idols who have been over-promoted with the purpose of having the plebe at their feet; with the purpose of making everybody dream that someday — and for some reason — they will be like them, that is they will snort drugs and dream that they own villas and mansions when they still live in dumps.
Just like Mr. Bean daydreamed of winning the Olympic champions, millions of his kind dream that they race, each at their own arena. One managed to dribble Beckham, another one created a hero with greater magical powers than Rowling’s character and another one has composed a song that is a better hit than Sir Paul McCartney’s. This is what they dream, until they snap out of it having an empty stomach and smell the benzene again that will help them go back to dreaming.
These people were proud of the Opening Ceremony result. They once again thought that they were the only ones to actually see everything that relates to them while all the rest witnessed Britain’s grandeur. They thought that they were the only ones to grasp on the communication codes which nobody else inferior to them can even imagine existing. They wanted the world to witness a grandeur which they did not want to be upstaged by threatening Greek elements. They did not want the Greek to avail themselves of a celebration that was their doing. They are far too petty to have the bravery to honor Hellenism. They are far too stingy to make generous gestures. There is no way they will advertize you with their money and in their turf. It is like you expect from a English to stand you a treat at the pub. There is no way in hell. You can only stand a English a treat, not the other way round. This is believed to be the right thing to do, otherwise you are ungrateful. Isn’t it enough that he honors you with letting you witness his passing out from the booze, you expect a treat too? You cannot expect these things to happen. Following this rationale, all the petty things that took place before our eyes in the Opening Ceremony should not strike as odd.
They did not have the generosity towards their co-athletes that characterizes the almighty; the generosity that characterized the Chinese, for example, who had the bravery to invite a children’s chorus to sing the Olympic Anthem in Greek. The English did no such thing, nor did they allow the National Anthem of their mother country to be heard at the Opening of the Olympic Games, as it has always been the case in these Games. There was no hoist of the Greek flag, so the Greek Anthem was not heard. It is a self-serving attitude. They only served themselves as they hoisted their nation’s flag only. Let the Games begin.
As the Opening Ceremony was reaching the end, “parachutist” Queen Elizabeth the Second stood up and declared the London 2012 Games officially open; the Games hosted by Mr. Bean; the Games that will become a reality that will punish the English harshly. They are screwed now, because they have fallen into their own trap. All former hosts — among many other people — have unpleasant recollections of the English and now they are going to fight fire with fire. The English are arrogant and judge others as if they are infallible Gods and when they act, they are usually ludicrous and commit blunders. They are stern and absolute judges of others while they joke about their own mistakes. Other people always commit grave mistakes but their mistakes are always charming.
No Greek can forget Mr. Bean who discredited Greece and the security measures all over the world during the Athens Olympics in a terribly pompous way. English tabloids sent people to Greece to snoop around in building sites and warehouses and find proof that the security measures here not hard enough. They made efforts to enter airports and discover flaws in the security systems planning to report them. They wanted to prove the English and the whole world that the Greeks are incompetent. They wanted to belittle and slander the nation as a whole so that this poor little English plebe can derive some pleasure.
This standard wanton and despicable behavior of theirs has now come back to haunt them. At this day of national exaltation for the English plebe and criticism by the global audience, they will pay the price. The consecutive blunders of the incompetent Mr. Bean will put them on the spot. The people who accused others of incompetence and insufficiency are the same people who lost a set of keys to the Wembley Stadium. The people who assigned special agents to find flaws in the airport security systems planning are the same people who rushed off to find how that eleven-year-old had managed to fly from Manchester to Rome without a ticket. The people who, although they were only guests in the country, called security every single time they spotted someone without an accreditation card, are the same people who did not prevent the Hindu student from intruding and parading alongside the Indian Olympic team. “Just imagine if this had happened in India that a person without any accreditation had walked into the main arena along with a contingent, all hell would have broken out in this side of the planet,” said one of the spokespersons of the Indian delegation. It is known throughout the world how demanding Mr. Bean is. You can only wish that you do not come across him. He is a small version of God; the absolute evolution of the human species; the end result of the Darwinian Theory; the superior; the people who claimed that they would host the best Olympic Games of the millennium.
Sadly for them, though — it had been a presumable result anyway — it does not seem like they can pull this through. Mr. Bean has started amusing humanity long before the actual Games began. The people who judge the world could not even be competent enough to keep the spirit of the Olympic flame alive. The flame may have gone out during the torch relay but at least they had managed to light a bystander’s cigarette with it. Still, the flame did not go out only during the relay where conditions are unpredictable; it also went out when it was in the cauldron inside the stadium where conditions can be controlled. What happened was without precedent and unheard-of and, had it happened in any other country, the English would have made sure it would have nowhere to hide from shame, because the English are provocative and they never stop insulting whomever they consider weak, without fear for the repercussions; they are repentless and they never stop joking at other’s expense; they claim to be ambitious by way of Boris have stated that they are going to count as many gold medals as the worth of Greece’s and Spain’s debts combined. Sadly, though, that did not happen for them, either.
It has been five days since the Opening of the Games and Britain has sunk to the polluted swallow waters of Thames. Not only have they not won a gold medal that can cover the debts of the Mediterranean, but also they have not even won a silver one that will help them pay for the bus tickets back home. 500 and more English athletes participate and Britain has managed to win only a silver medal. Its athlete’s performances are worse than Slovenia and Lithuania’s. The English are looking for a sport that will give their queen and Prime Minister a reason to celebrate, but they keep on falling on the remains of English athleticism. If they keep up this way, Sir Sebastian Coe is going to resemble Mr. Bean all the more. We do not feel sorry for him, though. He had it coming. He could have run away and avoid the humiliation but he didn’t. He might as well be on the go with the rest of the English now.
Should we consider it an Opening Ceremony or a Closing Ceremony? It is our belief that Britain made a huge strategic mistake when it bid for the Olympic Games. What it actually achieved was to sign its own death of the image it had in the world. Britain will never again be Britain after the Games. It should have never bid to host them, not even for financial gain as it is well known that these extravagant Games have never brought any profit to their hosts. The only gain is for those who have invested in culture and wish — even if it means spending a ridiculous amount of money — to establish their place in the world.
Things are simple. Only mighty ladies and ambitious missies organize extravagant parties without regard to the cost. The first ones do it to establish their place and the latter to improve it. No effete “Old Ladies” organize parties to get a commission. This is something that Great Britain should have known well and have avoided hosting the Games. It had no reason to be exposed this way to the world. For anything, it had more things to hide than to show off. In no way was Britain’s situation the same as its predecessors. Greece gained from hosting the Games because it is a small country and on the occasion of its own global celebration it proved once again its eternal relationship with the whole of humanity. China also gained from hosting the Games because it wanted to show the world that its modern and extremely huge success did not come by chance, but rather it is deep-rooted in time.
Each of these two countries has accepted to pay the price for the immense cost of this event because the gain would also be immense. Britain had absolutely no reason to go through this trouble; it could prove nothing. It had no reason to take stock of its history at a point when it has not got much to show. It had no accomplishments to present and it came close to disclosing its current miserable way of living; it came close to disclosing its social ageing.
As each day that passes proves, these Games not only do they not offer Britain the financial gains it probably expected, but they also tarnish its image. We do not need to wait for the Games to end to understand what the realization from their post-assessment is going to be. So far the constructions have exceeded the budget and the advancement they had promised as a result of the works never came. If you do not have any development to show during the year of the Olympics, it is only natural that after the Games have ended you will shed tears; you will shed bitter tears when this extravagant celebration is over and all that is left for you to do is pay the checks. You will get the pip once you realize that the best are over without any gain and the worst are yet to follow.
The financial loss is only one aspect of the English misjudgment to bid for the Olympic Games. There is also a moral aspect which is far worse than the first. Britain experiences absolute decadence and it would be impossible for it to avoid comparison with former hosts. It would be impossible for it to avoid harsh criticism on every misstep. The “Old Lady” had insulted a lot of people in the past and they had already had it on the radar. Britain should have been aware that its bad reputation because of its colonial past would not leave room even for a speck of sympathy in case of failure. Many people hate Britain — and too much — to show any sympathy and understanding.
Britain, which once was the master of the seas, laughed at the world and nobody can let this go. The whole world hates Britain and there was no way that it would not seize the opportunity presented to them now and laugh at its expense; laugh at its plight; its inadequacy; its blunders; laugh at all the things Britain had been meticulously hiding all these years and had no reason to expose as it had sadly done today. It would have been impossible not to become a target of venomous comments.
It is like bumping on your ex harsh boss who sells cotton candy in the funfair and begs of you to buy some. The man who was once an arrogant atheling who gave you a hard time every day is now begging you to give a handsel to him. How can you resist badmouthing him to the third degree? How can you resist chuckling at his comedown? How can you resist venting your spleen on him just to let off steam? Who is to blame in this case? Is it the one who criticizes or the one who has lost all sense of proportion and failed to protect his self from criticism? Was it really that big of a need to risk becoming the topic of conversation by all sorts of embittered funfair vendors?
This is the case with Britain here. It did not shield itself against a world that loves to hate it and will never let go of the past. Having nothing to present to the world, Britain tried to receive financial gain by commercializing the Olympic Games. The former mighty colonial power is hosting the Games with the hope to sell some caps or T-shirts and make money. It asks everybody to come and visit and commits to serving them faithfully. The path it has followed is a one-way street. Everything goes against Britain; everything has turned out to be a complete disaster, starting from the queen who appeared with a parachute and including Mr. Bean who daydreamed of glory and fame. They expose weaknesses, illusions and fake hopes every day. Everything turns into a cry of despair of a person who wants people to notice his presence but they don’t; a cry of anguish of an effete noble who cherishes illusions and dreams of the past. This year’s Olympic Games marked the end of an era for Britain.
Sadly for Britain, it chose the wrong time to expose itself to global view. It did not know how to act and it self-destructed. It is left hanging and exposed to global criticism, unable to react. It could neither go ahead, nor retreat. It is just like the Boris the incredible who only pretends to perform his duties as Mayor of London; a real piece of work, who wanted — just like Britain did — to show off in front of the whole world. He attempted to appear out of nowhere in a James Bond style and land on an outdoor party in London, but he got stuck on a zip wire. It is the absolute disgrace of humans by a joke of a man. We do not dare think of how the English tabloids would react if someone else were at Boris’ shoes; if the Athens Mayor in the 2004 Olympics got stuck in wires over Syntagma Square waving flags; if the Beijing Mayor in the 2008 Olympics got stuck over Tiananmen Square. It is the London Mayor who got stuck, nevertheless, and it is the same flawless media that will present the incident as a charming one; a cute one to their eyes, but a ridiculous one to the rest of the world. The whole world laughed at the dangling Mayor who was naïve enough to wave two plastic little flags of the former superpower and queen of the seas. The more he waved the flags, the more people laughed. The English laughed as well, but it was a bitter laugh, as they knew that this incident will be shown all over the world through the internet.
It is our belief that the same thing this ridiculous London Mayor experienced is the same thing that Britain is experiencing by hosting the Games. What they thought they had achieved is completely different from what the world has seen. The Mayor, like a swaddled cheap piece of meat hanging by stripes, thought that the people watching are naïve and inferior and view him as a superhero. Judging by their rhetoric, not even Britain itself realizes the extent of the damage. A rhetoric which expresses that the English are unacquainted with the current wane and they are convinced that their nation is once again the absolute world power. They obviously bury their heads in the sand but sooner or later the truth will come out.
This is exactly why we insisted on London being wrong to bid for the Games, right from the start. The only message that modern Britain can pass to the world as a result of this event is self-insulting: “Since Britain managed to rule the world once, nothing is impossible; anything can happen.” The negative results will soon emerge because it is certain that neither the Scottish nor the Welsh will be willing to be part of this wane as they are the ones who are laughing their heads off with how successful the English hosting has been.
There was only one person missing from this spectacular celebration of blunders. We are certain that the Opening Ceremony would have been perfect if the hosts had not omitted something important. A really important English, who has as much fans as the Mr. Bean character all these years, was unduly absent. He is the only person who has been wronged by not been invited as we feel that he deserved a place in the Olympic Games. He is the one and only Baldrick; Mr. Bean’s lackey; another huge English success; he is the person who is in danger of being washed up in the Thames when it rains in London.
PANAGIOTIS TRAIANOU
